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""My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"--Paula Poundstone "

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"If a man will begin with certainties,he shall end with doubts;but if he will be content to begin with doubts,he shall end in certainties."

Sir Francis Bacon, 1561-1626

Lisa, remember me as I am - filled with murderous rage. (y2k disaster)

Homer

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Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

John Mendoza

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Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.

Steven Wright

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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

Steven Wright

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Car Hops

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.unknown

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

unknown

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