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""My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"--Paula Poundstone "

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"Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now.Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future.Think how really precious is the time you have to spend,whether it's at work or with your family.Every minute should be enjoyed and savored."

Earl Nightingale

I'll use your head as a bucket and paint my house with your brains

Moe

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Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

Mariah Carey

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I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.

Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

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Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.

Steven Wright

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The Fuller Brush Man

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.unknown

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

unknown

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