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Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.

Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest Oh My God!

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The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere,bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.

Nabisco

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I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

Ellen DeGeneres