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My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.

Ron Richards

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I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals

we aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.

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I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

Garry Shandling