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""I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals -- we aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners."--Jeff Stilson "

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"Frank Rizzo, ex"

police chief and mayor of Philadelphia I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries

Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.

Homer

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"After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post."

Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island

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The biggest cause of trouble in the world today is that the stupid people are so sure about things and the intelligent folks are so full of doubts.

Bertrand Russell

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I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

Garry Shandling

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Topo Gigio

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.unknown

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

unknown

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