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I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals

we aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.

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Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.

Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest Oh My God!

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USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

David Letterman